Heavyweight Bash Bash

Now guy's, it's not fair to compare apples and oranges. One is an apple the other is an orange, two totally different things with the only common ground being that they are both fruits. For the record i'm equally impressed by both, though i think i prefer the juice of an orange. Apples have better skin. I'm not actually here to compare said fruits, no, i mean business with this here post. I've got a head to head that will blow your head. LET THA BATTLE FOR BEST GUY BEGIN!

In the left corner, hailing from the big apple, the empire state, we have Black Dave!

And in the right corner, hailing from Miami now residing in Perth, Western Australia... Aslan Flocka Flame!

Oh shit, that's Galliano. This is Ash.

ROUND 1- STEEZYSOEEZY

Black Dave: I don't know Black Dave personally but he does seem to reek of steeze. A) He's a New Yorker, which kind of is like a 10up when it comes to cool points B) He also goes by the name Black Donald Trump. While white Donald Trump is an awkward looking, ignorant, toupee wearing chump, Black Dave has hair and rides a skateboard. More cool point's. BTW i only skate because chicks dig it.

Aslan Flocka Flame: AFF is probably the most naturally steeze ridden human i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He owns two whips, a honda civic and a lowrider. Lowrider's are like a 10up when it comes to G status which in turn equates to cool points. Don't act like you haven't played GTA San Andreas and not enjoyed every second you got to ride your lowrider in a beater. He struts like a pimp and probably is one.

Winner: Close first round. Both men came out swinging. Aslan wins though.

ROUND 2 - HOTSPITTA

Black Dave: Just in case you live under a rock:

"I fucked a bitch today", "these white girls already know i bring the pain", "Black Donald trump and i'm a mother fuckin ent-rep-ren-eur, and your bitch is a whore"

Need i elaborate?

Aslan Flocka Flame: He has a rapper's name so you know he's too legit to quit. Don't take my word for it though. looky here... I lied you're going to have to take my word, it's bond. I just spent the last half an hour unsuccessfully scouring his FB page for one liner's. Believe that they exist, it's your funeral if you sleep on him. His favourite rapper is Cam'ron. 

Winner: I'll have to give this one to Black Dave, no disrespect to AFF on this one but i haven't personally heard him spit a hot one.

ROUND 3 - PUSSYPOPPIN'

Black Dave: He talks the talk but then the bitch he's got chilling with him in the taxi cab is kinda whatever. I'm not saying she's ugly but damn kid you can't talk about banging hot bitches then go fuck with mediocre hoe's, not that she's mediocre, i bet she's really nice. You got her opening doors for you. Good start bro.

Aslan Flocka Flame: Ash can get it. He has that 'i'm a nice guy but i'll tear you apart' look in his eyes. He also has a pretty feasible rap sheet when it comes to guzzlers. Ash doesn't talk himself up either but then he'll rock up rocking an Audrey and a fur jacket complete with bolo tie.

Winner: Pulling bitches in a bolo, fuck ridin' solo. Aslan Flocka Flame silky like rolo.

ROUND 4 - SWEATSESH

Black Dave: You saw that back lip IN A SUIT! He quite obviously rides his board everywhere IN A SUIT! I'm gathering he can ball pretty good too, you know New York and all (nothing to do with the colour of his skin). RUMOUR HAS IT HE BALLS IN A SUIT. Under Armour? No thanks bro i'll settle for a tailored 3 piece.

Aslan Flocka Flame: I've played along side and against AFF in basketball. I can honestly say i'd rather have him as a friend than foe on the black top or wood top or that green grippy shit top. He has arms like a giraffe neck and hops like Russell Westbrook.

Winner: Black Dave wins it by a hair. Not by an Ash lock but by a pube. It has nothing to do with his skin tone and that black people are genetically superior in terms of muscle development. Back lip in a suit. Sweat would be the real winner if i was comparing sweat to either of these subjects, but that's not why we're here.

Coming into round V both competitors have won two rounds each. This is the deciding round. This is why these two gentleman were born. 

ROUND 5 - MY SUIT IS BETTER THAN YOURS'S'S'S... BITCH

Black Dave: So i've already touched on BD's suit rocking steeze and while it is good it isn't great. Sure he can back lip IN A SUIT but it was a little sloppy and a good suit should always be well tailored or at least well fit to your torso. The playboy hat added some points but playboy is also trashy and is affiliated with Uggs and peroxided, cake faced blondes.

Aslan Flocka Flame:

Or Fabio?

Overall Winner: Purely unbiased and solely based on suit rocking goodness, I have to give the ring to Aslan Flocka Flame. He has the hair, he has the broad, he has the steeze, he has our hearts and he is a Hair Bro.

Best Guy.

No Homo.

Streetcar Named Desire.

Im an overly prepared know it all. Fuck streetcar etiquette, I'm above all that shit.

I know at what exact minute the streetcar is going to pull up to my stop, so Im going to make a move now, ousting little kids and old war veterans in the process just so I can solidify my position. I couldn't give two dicks about the fact that the streetcar is more jam packed than the Mumbai Suburban Railway at peak hour, I need to ensure I am standing right in front of the doors a good 3 stops before I am due to alight. Obstructing other members of public from getting on and off the vehicle is just a casualty of war that I am happily prepared to accept.

Oh dammit, there's an extremely good looking and well balanced Mauritian standing in the exact same position I'm meant to be in and Im only 4 stops away from when Im due to get off! If I dont get in there now, I wont be able to make it and the streetcar driver probably wont wait for me to exit and I'll end up at the end of the line or even worse in Tokyo, and have to purchase a plane ticket all the way back to College St so that I can eventually make it home. Yeah, I should definitely make a move now.

Subtlety is a dish best served cold. If I place my hand on the same pole he's holding next to the door, duck under his arm and do a little shimmy of my ass letting my massive red backpack do the rest of the work, I should be able to create enough distance between him and the steps to (not) comfortably stand.

*Oooo, swish, bang, push, twist, wiggle, tackle, punch, decapitate*

Yes! Success!!! Even though the bottom half his body is situated awkwardly between two festively plump business men, his arm at 90 degrees to his elbow and head tweaked at a position I never thought was possible, he's eventually vacated the area. I can now ride at the steps of the street car for 12 stops and make a comfortable departure before going home to play with myself because I am a cold, disrespectful and selfish bitch and as a result havent been able to hold down any form of successful companionship with anyone because I suck at life. Ah well, at least I got an A+ in Public Transport Etiquette 101.

Would Smash Wednesdays.

So Its half a week later. I work nights and when i... alright i just didn't do it. Honestly, i was pretty off this idea and felt that an early retirement was in order for old mate Would Smash... Then i woke up drunk dressed as an ice cream man.

Kimbra. This girl. I would such and such with Kaykay, i dont't even feel right saying smash. Kimbra is a native of Australia's homeboy, New Zealand. She now resides in Melbourne and makes good music. Damn cute, little cropped bob, well dressed, groove bubbling, indie broad. Would Smash.

Kaykay and me sitting in a tree...

Where the Magic Happens.

Call it a mancrush if you will, but I like to keep tabs on Dwight Howard's life . Its a wholesome, informative and enternaining past time that I have indefinitely incorporated into my daily work tasks. Not to mention the amount of ammo it provides for a good party conversation starter because, well, everyone loves Dwight's shoulders... and they think he's kinda ok too.

So as I was completing today's routine stalking session I noticed a tweet of his that got my comparative juices flowing... "Hhmmm what do you guys think about havin an old school vs new school magic game/weekend here in orlando. Hosted by me. Need some ideas"

This immediately got me thinking about two things; 1) the possibility of this actually happening would be smaller than Jeremy's win/loss ratio to me in one-on-one and more importantly 2) I wonder who would win out of a game between today's Magic and my favourite and most influential squad of all time, the 94/95 Orlando Magic team? I mean if it was a question of style, it would be an obvious no brainer. Horace Grant made rocking goggles stylish, Penny donned a pair of Lil Penny's to go with his elegant fadeaway J and Shaq wasn't as fat and was droppin platinum rap albums. It was stylish to rock fitted kits and kicks became timeless. NBA in the 90's at its best.

But if you actually took today's team and back to the future their asses to 1995, who would win in a 48 minute game of hoops. On one hand, you had the formidable combo of Penny and Shaq. Skill trumped athleticsm and teams scored big in the posts. In terms of big names and all around skill, I think the 94/95 Orlando Magic probably had a better team on paper. On the other hand, basketball has evolved alot over the past 16 or 17 years. Guys are more athletic nowdays with shoulders the size of boulders and a pre game meal for most centers consists of a small child. As a result, players are quicker and stronger so teams utilize isolation plays alot more to exploit their skills. So whilst today's Orlando team has alot more 'filler' type players on their roster, the overall skill level and intensity of the NBA has increased so therefore they should be of a higher calibre athlete.

Anyways, as this game will probably never take place anytime soon, I thought I'd provide you with a player v player analysis to put your curious minds to rest.

Guards: Nick Anderson vs Jameer Nelson
Should be a really interesting battle. They are pretty evenly matched points - wise, although Nelson drops a coupla more dimes per game. Nelson could struggle with the fact that Anderson is a good 6 inches taller than him, so he'd have to use his speed to beat him off the dribble and in transition. I think overall, Nelson would just win this duel, especially if it came down to free throws. Anderson's ability to shoot from the line in pressure situations was about as good as Bogut's ability to get through a successful media interview without being all awkward and saying some wack shit.

Guards: Anfernee Hardaway vs Jason Richardson
Well it would depend on whether Penny would be fit and healthy or not... actually fuck that Penny with a broken leg and half a dick would still dominate. I got love for J Rich and all but since he joined the Magic his game's been patchier than a 3 year old's colouring book. Good guy though. Penny's just a don. I still to this day think that minus the injuries, Penny could've matched Jordan. Jus saying.



Ewing would be so livid.

Forwards: Dennis Scott vs Hedo Turkoglu
Another good shoot out.

Dennis Scott was a solid role player for the Magic and could drain a tre like it was nobody's business, however both players are pretty evenly matched in terms of points and shooting % from beyond the arc. It would depend on if we were talknig about 2008 finals Turkoglu, or the recently acquired 2/12 shooting Turkoglu thats managed to turn the whole of Toronto against him. I honestly got nothing but mad love for Turkey, so I think if he can find that player that he previsouly was with the Magic before he got traded to the Raptors, he'd have the ability to pull something special out of the hat and just out do Scott in this battle. Not by much though.

Forwards : Horace Grant vs Brandon Bass

Bass was finding some golden form in the latter half of last year and became a reliable player for Van Gundy to turn to when Turkey or J Rich weren't producing the good stuff. But Horace wore goggles. He wins by default.

Centers: Shaquille O'Neal vs Dwight Howard

The showdown. The main event. What everyone came to see. The two beasts fighting for one prized catch. Superman vs Superman II. 29 & 11 vs 23 & 14. The blatantly arrogant vs ever so charming. The clash of the titans.

So who would win the matchup? Fuck, I dunno to be honest. I mean Shaq was only in his 3rd season of NBA at this point, so his game would probably have alot more of a rawness to it. Where as Dwight is heading into his 8th season and would probably have alot more of a refined and well-rounded game in terms of contributing on both ends of the court. But then again you look at Shaq's numbers, even at 3 years in and he's leading the NBA in scoring playing at the centre position which is pretty damn impressive. Not to mention that the legacy he left as one of the NBA's greatest centers is yet to be fucked with: 4 rings, NBA MVP, 3 finals MVP, 15 NBA all stars, 2 scoring championships... the list goes on. so as much as it pains me to say this, Dwight isn't quite there yet and I think even at this point in his career, the 94/95 Shaq would have him beat on game day.

Winner: Orlando Magic 94/95 team
So there you have it, 3/5 key matchups won and the Orlando Magic 94/95 team runaway with it in the dying minutes, 101-96. Penny scores 31 and drops 15 dimes, Whilst Shaq contributes 26 and 12 and Horace chimes in with a sweet 17 points. Dwight knocks up 20 & 15 and Mr Richardson had one of his better outings with 23 points.

Its all good though, Dwight's a funny cunch and does mad good impersonations. Look who's got the last laugh now.

Would Smash Wednesdays.

Just a little something to get you through the rest of the work week. Call me a pig, a dog or a chauvinist. Otherwise you could just see it for what it is, a young man who appreciates and gets great joy out of the smaller things in life. I welcome you to the first 'Would Smash'.

Kreashawn. Raised in Oakland California by a single, musician mother, Kreashawn was in and out of schools and trouble with the law. She smokes cannabis and drinks alcohol. Kreashy got her big break with her viral single 'Gucci Gucci'. She has tattoos. Would Smash.

P-Town Peeps Gettin It Done... The Annex is on one.

Perth has been on its primetime shit of late and The Annex has officially grabbed the mic and stolen centre stage.

The Annex is a quaint little retail haven that resides in the ever so charming suburb of Mount Hawthorn and is run by none other than the always exquisite Ms. Carla Totaro.

A boutique gem that has emerged in the constantly growing Perth fashion retail industry, The Annex brings us labels such as Magdalena Valevska, Manning Cartell, Gat Rimon, Camilla and Marc Swim and Resort, Uscari, Dress Up, Winter Kate, Antipodium, Desmond, Nicholas, Jessie Hill, Hyde Accessories and a personal favourite of mine, DITA Eyewear.

What was that you said? Amazing? Yep you'd be spot on with that one. Ladies, if you're still reading this I'd probably head there right now, so you can become one of those people that can say "err, I was shopping here way before anyone else was". Mad Perth underground know it all steeze.

And guys imagine the amount of brownie points that you can cop from the missus by getting your European on and buying her some stylish Astier De Vilatte Candles from here? Or a dope rust coloured "Abbey" top by Nicholas with a complimenting Hyde Suede Fringe Bag? Like 32 million, that's how many. You could probably even milk those brownie points for like a year or two without even trying and you'll have her giving it up at every opportunity she gets from that point forward.

So you see, its pretty much a win for both parties involved and more importantly, the city of Perth as a whole.

For further info, you can get at The Annex on;

The Annex

145 Scarborough Beach Road

Mount Hawthorn
9444 1450

carla@theannexbrands.com.au

or

https://www.facebook.com/#!/theannexmthawthorn

...Or follow them on Twitter @theannexperth

Go on. Spoil yourself. You deserve it.

More Four

I want to go skateboarding but the rain is ruining my life. Lucky I've had this to watch. Josh Roberts handling business for Four.

X.

10 reason's why I'm a catch.

1. I'm a good guy. A fucking good dude mind you. If I'm walking down the street with a bird you better know I'm walking on the inside of the sidewalk closest to the road. Man's this is a simple yet often forgotten form of chivalry. I'm gonna lay my H&M hoodie over a puddle for a bitch. If i had a Burberry coat I wouldn't and I'd say some thing like 'Fucking serious? get the sand out your shit and jump for a change. Do I have to do everything bitch? Fuck, I'm not your father'. But seriously you would live for it because it came from my cute little face.

2. I cook. I cook really good, but don't come knocking if you're gonna be all 'eeeeewwww that's so fatty' and 'you know how bad butter is for you?'. Yes I do and it tastes fucking good. I'm a full flavour kinda guy. What are you feeling tonight? Maybe a little Middle Eastern cuisine, some oriental flavours? How about Foie Gras with mustard seeds and duck jus? Yeah you like that? Seafood too, girl I got shit that'll make your mouth water and your sugar basin drip drip.

3. I'm deep. Like a fucking onion, I got layers. Each time you peel back a little more your heart melts a little more. It's simple baby. Get to know me. We can sit by the fire while I recite poetry, hell I'll just freestyle a few baby making bars then we can make a baby and eat a mars bar. Fucking right, I watch the news and I cry over all the injustices that take place in this sick and twisted reality which we are forced to live. But there is light at the end of this windy, dirty, shit sodden tunnel... Me

4. Groove thang, not groove thing, thaaaaang. Ain't no thang but a chick wing baby girl. I have an internal metronome. Watch my tight little booty shake while the soles of my brando loafers leave burn marks on the floor. Call me J Boogie.
Disco to disco and then onto Frisco, I got the funk, Bootsy mother fucking Collins, mother fucking Fishbone.

Two booties under a groove. You+Me= UH...

5. Romantic son of a bitch. A little red wine by candle light on that Teddy Pendergrass tip. Love TKO baby. Tell you friends about it, then I got lines outside my door like Supreme at drop time. You like bubbles in your bath right? Then I'll gently caress you head while I wash your locks, dry you down but the inside of your legs stay moist for some reason. ZING!

6. CREAM. I don't make a lot but you'll get a good load out of me if you play your cards right. I don't mind throwing down a wad of ones for a good girl. I'll spoil you with product I "paid" big moola for. $10 an hour never looked so good. That can get us both on the ferris wheel and you know what they say, one ride around the big wheel equates to ten on the triangle.

7. Understanding. I understand.

8. Tunes. The music I listen to is fantastic and my ears appreciate an eclectic mix jams from all corners of the earth, so i guess you could say i'm a worldly guy too. I can set the mood with a smooth yazz, switch it up with a little soul, bump and grind to some Genuine, take it down to Cat Power then party to hip hop till the sunrise and when I really wanna heat shit up D'angelo's got my back.

9. I'm fly. I dress so damn good that when I meet your mum she'll be all like 'is he famous? He looks like he's famous!'. I'm not famous and I'm not rich but I won't step out unless I'm looking a million bucks. Shorts and a polo on my country club swag, button down and a bow tie on my 3 stack combo, maybe some fur to pimp in and a shoe game that has other fella's salivating. I like to shop. Not for you but you'll enjoy shopping with me cos you'll get to see me shirtless for a good portion of the day and when I'm putting my kits together you can take photo's and put them up on your little blog.

10. Putting in work. I can work it girl, you don't need to worry there. I'm pretty majestic like a white stallion galloping in front of the sunrise. Like an angel with his wings spread, I get it open. In time with the vibe right, we can do it all night, got a chill bark but a hard bite. See, just like that. Love making poetry like it ain't shit. When I'm up in it, it's a one way ticket to pleasure town and I'm the pilot.

Midweek Marauders

Well its Kardinal Offishall... Jem and I are now paid. Mama I made it!

So, what's the best way to blow a shit tonne of tax money and live life in the fast lane? How about buying designer sunglasses, all inclusive trips to Mexico, new sneakers, lotsa waffles, skateboards, gigs and becoming broke again in like a week sound? Yep, you guessed it. We'll no doubt be returning to Perf with nothing more than a suitcase and a whole bunch of "good guy" steeze. We win suckers.

You probably heard on our blog about The Manifesto festival thats going on in Toronto right now? Yeah, thought so. Well on Wednesday night we got to see NYC heavyweights Boot Camp Clik spit their shit at the Sound Academy. Even though it was the Smif-N-Wessun show featuring Buckshot, a dope night was had by all who attended and it was refreshing to see some raw shit being performed as opposed to the dumbed down, over-produced brand of hiphop that we've come to expect from many of today's artists. Big ups to Sean Price for stealing the limelight from everyone performing and just straight being a boss.

Here is a video and a few snaps for your viewing pleasure. SEAN PPPP!!!

Home Sweet Home

Most readers of this will already know where home is for me. Home is a little city located down on the south end of the Western Australian map. Home is a hot, isolated coastal city named Perth. Home is also a place that flourishes with talented, friendly ass mother fuckers that will eventually, sooner rather than later, become those "Oh shit, They're from Perth!"type mentions.

A lot of people beat up on Perth, complaining that there is a lack of things to do, which is partially true but not if you open your eyes and ears to the skies. I don't know what it is about little young Perth that produces such talent (maybe it is something in our chlorinated water) but one things is for sure, we have guy's and doll's killing it in every direction. Some say being from such an isolated place is a curse but I truly believe that being hidden from the world's spotlight only increases the flame that burns inside our creatives.

I'm not one of those "Perth is the best, fuck other cities" people but every time I go to another city it really does give me a sense that though we don't have it all, we have enough and what we do have is special and unique. I have fallen in love with cities from Japan to the U.S. to Canada, and each time I look back and think of home I'm reminded of our scenes and our people. We have amazing artists, dope musicians, incredible skateboarders and friendly faces. We have designers that are on the next level, labels that about the essence more than dollar signs. We got bangin' hipster chicks too.

Peep these's's

Butter Goods

LittleGracie

The Growl

Ta-Ku

I just got youtube happy but it too get's you happy. Get absorbent.

quite-buttery.com

littlegracie.com.au

myspace.com/legrowl

paperchainpeople.com

highsandlows.net.au

gmtaskateboards.com.au

staplemag.com

Big love to the Hair Bro's, Durty Frog Doug, Arms, The Good Doctor, Geldi, Pidge, Garth, Robbie Blue Eyes, MRGNBT, HUMBY, Aslan (best guy), BOOBS, Thompson, April Rizose, Peggy Sue, Hill Street, Cosmo Gets, George Costanza's Tiny Dancers, Mum, Dad, Lil' Bro (don't fuck with my shit), Colin, #hipsterbitches, Coufos La Familia, LD=PIN, Shooter Mamotte, The Beach, $4.50 Coffee's, Little Creatures, Cooper's King Brown's, FREO, Skateboarding, Green Stuff, Everyone and everything I like.

This Week, Large.

Glorious

This is good.

Dont Know What You Got Til Its Gone

It is indeed a sad day amongst Madison Ave residents and Annex affiliates alike.

Gone are the days of pink walls, strange smells, nature watches and steep staircases. There will be no more Dupont station. No more Final Nine. No more making fun af all the frat and sorority houses because of their strange symbols, the questionable activities of their members and the really bad music that they play at their parties, in which we both secretly wished we copped invites to.

After 8 months this is it. This is the end.

Its been great Madison Ave. Thanks for all the memories. I hope that one day when we share the experience we've had here with our kids, they'll find solace in knowing that you not only housed our physical shells... but our hopes and dreams.

Goodnight, sweet prince.

OMG everybody!!! It's finally here #albumofthecentury

Dear Diary,

After much anticipation and speculation, Watch The Throne was FINALLY released on Monday and it was, well... pretty poo to say the least. I mean of course the production was crisp and all, and that RZA track was ill, but other than that it did nothing for me. Here's a few things that annoyed me about the album;

• Really sub-par rapping



• Synths were relentless and made my ears bleed at times - Especially in that electro-dub-step-ish breakdown in Who Gon Stop Me. Ol' Britney Spears - Hold It Against Me ass sounding mo' fucker



• In New Day, Kanye thinks everyone hates him and his life is really complicated and as a result, reckons if he ever has a son that he's never going to let him go into strip clubs because finding a wifey in there is a really hard accomplishment



• Im going to go out on a limb here and say that rhyming "whatup blud, what up cuz?' with "its all black, I love us" is probably not some of Jay-Z's best work.



• I think a Gucci beat accidentally sneaked its way on track 3 of the album and the two kings just couldn't come hard enough on the track



• The raps weren't any good



• The first Frank Ocean track was good (kinda got that Pray vibe off Jay's American Gangster album) but his second one, Made In America, was some corny ass shit. The soothing background synths and boppy keys reminded me of Blueprint 3's Forever Young and made me want to wave my hands from side to side and/or hug the nearest person to me, which at the time I didn't really want to do.



• Lift Off had Kanye trying to sing again for some reason. No one has a clue what he actually said. Hot 16's are replaced by chilly 4's.



• I had to listen to Otis again

Even after all that, do you know what the saddest thing is Diary? I downloaded the new Chris Breezy mixtape at the same time and even that poor excuse for a record is getting more spins than Watch The Throne. Besides, who wouldn't wanna here Biebs go HAM on the mic. He may rap dirty, but his dicks definitely clean.

Anyways I'm outtie, until next time D.

Dear World, I'm Sorry.

Aaaah... It's a good feeling knowing that you're a good guy, an ever better feeling to know that you're so great that your impact on society will be appreciated by everybody forever. Well by everybody I mean everybody with exception to Nickelback. Fuck Nickelback, They're like Tom Cruise but worse because there is more than one. Fuck Tom Cruise too for that matter, Mission Impossible 4 will suck more balls than the Wolverine movie, which I believe gobbled down on a record 33 sets of balls (66 individual testicles).

Oh yeah so I check my inbox this morning and along with the usual fan mail and debt reminders I get something new. Something which at first I thought was spam, something written to me personally and intended for me to spread to all of our readers and our one follower, which coincidently is me. It was a reply to an e-mail I had sent to Pink. I basically asked her where she got off.

This is what I received in return:

"Dear Jeremy,


Thank you for your letter. I must admit at first I was confused by your question. I didn't know whether you were a fan asking which train station I exited from or a creep getting sexual with it! It wasn't until I asked my good friends Nickelback to clarify what you meant that I realised you were criticising my art.


It prompted some in depth soul searching and I thank you. I came to realise that my music has been polluting the atmosphere for the larger part of my life. My music is pure poo, like sloppy and steamy, the type of poo you need to use a whole roll on and then are left with an inconveniently situated rash. A nagging rash that nothing can soothe. I like to think my voice represents the rash and the sloppy turd is my production. It stinks, it burns and in it's simplest form is just down right unpleasant.


At first I accepted this and moved on but something else was nagging me. Was my music alone the problem? I couldn't possibly see how I could get any worse... but then I did. I endorsed my protégé Adam 'Whadayawanfromeey' Lambert, what the fuck was I thinking. The guy is literally a gay male version of myself. I slapped the world's gay community in the face with that one and I am deeply sorry. My whole image is disturbing, I want to be empowering to women that's why I try to look like a dude? I had Bucky Lasek fist pumping in a film clip.  I am a virus and I have infected innocent people. I initially named myself P!NK because I sported a sweet pink doo. My hair is no longer pink maybe I should boot off. I am sorry.


Jeremy, Please accept this apology if I had a heart it would be aching for the world. I am a cyborg.


Regrettably me,
P!NK"


Wow, that actually happened and if she does boot off you can thank your's truly.

Kelis Ain't Got Shit On Me

Having a rhyme dedicated to you is one of the greatest honours that an artist can receive in the rap game... Whether it be for a dead homie, a mentor, a fellow hustler or in this case an 18th birthday, people listen intently to every little word so that they can try and gain an understanding about the series of events that garnered the song's birth.

This is just another one of those tracks that spawned from the mean streets of Mt Hawthorn in our youth. Werd.


01 My Milkshake by jeremybunny5

Heaven at Twenty Seven

"One of the best voices of the last 10 years" - Marcel Lock

Better late than never, thanks for the sounds Amy.

RIP  to the baddest songstress of the 21st. 

Ashbridge Bay, Fucking Ridicilis